I've been feeling a little off lately. It seems like everyone in my life is accomplishing such great things! My sister got her Doctorate, my other sister is working on her Masters, David graduated and will finish everything up this fall, and it seems like everyone else is either getting really nice new jobs or moving into new houses or other things like that. So I've felt very...stuck...lately. Like I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. I never used to feel like that, and today I figured out why.
Up until I graduated college, I've always had some kind of feedback on my life. Usually it was grades. After every semester I would get a grade on how well I did. I could see immediate results of the work I was putting in. And if I got enough good grades, I got to graduate! But life's not like that anymore. I get up with Asher, go to work, come home and take care of Asher, put him to bed, and then I go to bed. And that's it. I don't have anyone telling me if I'm doing a good job or if I need to work on things more. I know it's all part of being an adult, but it's so hard to motivate yourself! All growing up, you have parents and coaches and teachers being your cheerleaders and telling you what an awesome job you're doing, but not so much now. I suppose I'll have to work on motivating myself. I guess I'm just impatient. And I should set more goals to work towards. Maybe that will help. Any other suggestions? I'm fresh out! But I'll keep working on it. That's my little rant for the evening. I just needed to get it out. Maybe putting those goals (once I come up with some) on here will help keep me accountable. Maybe I'll try that next...
3 comments:
You are in a supporting role right now until David gets through school. You will find it easier to find fulfilling goals and pursuits after that. It's important to take care of yourself so that you don't feel drained. You are doing such a great job with Asher and with all your responsibilities. Don't despair. Things will get better.
Just think of all those poor suckers who've had nothing but good luck so far. They still have to go through the bad luck. Not you, though. You've already used up your lifetime allotment of bad luck. It's time for the good luck to kick in now.
I can see how you would feel that way, but let me tell you, you are accomplishing great things. Getting David through school?? Huge accomplishment. Surviving the first few months of Asher? You should get a medal. Raising such a painfully cute and funny baby? You win the prize.
Also, I think a lot of us tend to get down on ourselves because it's so easy to compare. Trust me, I'm the master of that. Every baby announcement, every family picture that gets posted, it all makes me feel like everyone's life is moving on except mine. Now my friend's kids are in middle school and Young Men and Young Women!! The only thing that gets me through is setting goals, like you mentioned. That's why I'm doing this fitness thing with mom, and I'm doing a recital in May. I hope that doesn't sound like you don't have anything to complain about, but I want you to realize that you are doing great things. Love you!
LISAAAAAA!!!!! You aren't supposed to tell anyone that I'm doing a fitness thing!!! Now people will look at me and think to themselves, "I thought she was doing a fitness thing."
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