Free Time?

Now that school is done and Christmas is over, I realize that I have a lot of free time on my hands. This is a very odd thing for me, especially after the fall semester where I had hardly any free time at all. I don't really know what to do with my life for the next week. When people ask me what I like to do for fun, it's really hard for me to answer that. There are lots of things I like to do, but it's been awhile since I've really been able to do what I want. There have always been restrictions like no time, no money, or other obligations. I think I'm starting to figure things out a little bit, so here is a list of things I like to do:

- Read a good book. I'm currently reading Hannibal. I'm going through a "creep yourself out" book phase. My last two books were Silence of the Lambs and Pet Semetary.
- Crochet dish rags. I feel like an 80 year old woman when I do this, but it's fun anways.
- Watch movies. I always knew I liked doing this, but I've watched a plethora of movies this break.
- Go hiking. I can't really do that now, but it was really fun during the summer. Except for Table Rock. That made me hate my life. And Joni.
- Go shooting. I've been able to go with my friends a few times this semester and it was awesome! I like shooting guns.

Hopefully I'll be able to come up with many more things to do because I have to find a way to keep myself busy during my 5 month summer break. And I will even have a little money to use for play! I am welcome to any other suggestions for things to keep me busy. I always like to try new things!

Ode to Joy

I have a few other additions to make to my Christmas list:
- Way awesome sunglasses
- Gloves
- A replacement Elvis poster (this isn't a necessity, my old one is just getting a little worn out)

And since I like to look up youtube videos, here is one of my favorites. I don't know why, it just is.

Christmas List

So here is my Christmas list so far. I do realize that I'm stretching on a few of these, but it was fun to put them on anyways. And with numbers 1,2, and 5 it would be nice if they were cute stuff.

1-Purse
2-Backpack (so Joni will stop complaining)
3-Laptop (or maybe some money to contribute)
4-Kitchen Junk like pots, pans, measuring stuff because I don't have any of that stuff.
5-Clothes (or money to buy some)
6-Lensbaby (ha ha, just kitting! They are pretty expensive and it's not really a need)
7-Jason to date me

Music

I have always loved music. Whether I'm playing the piano, violin, or singing, I love it. I don't get as much of a chance anymore because of schoolwork and work and other things that manage to pop up, but so far I have managed to always fit Symphony into my schedule. That's one thing that is really important to me. I've decided that I want to try and fit a more regular practice routine into my daily life. This is one song that I really liked while I was learning it, but I switched teachers in the middle and my 2nd teacher didn't think much of this piece. Or at least the way I played it. I think I'm going to try and relearn it, and finish it. Wish me luck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AcNswVKof4

Opera

I have almost always had a great love of music, specifically opera. I think it's one of those things that a lot of people don't really appreciate. A lot of people just make fun of it and make some sort of joke about it, but don't take time to really listen to the beauty of it. I will admit, I don't like all opera. Some styles just don't mesh well with me. I do have a favorite singer. Luciano Pavarotti. I think that he was amazing. Here is a video of him singing the song that Paul Potts used in Britian's Got Talent. My favorite part is at the end of this video when he smiles. I think it shows his love of the music.

I Have a Dream

I have a dream
That one day I can be
as awesome and amazing
as my sister Lisa.

Lisa is the coolest person ever.
She is so pretty and skinny.
I try not to be jealous of her,
but I can't help it.

I think I shall build
a sculpture in her honor,
and put flowers all around it.
Lisa is so awesome
so awesome
so awesome

Halloween Concert

Last night we finished off the Halloween Concerts. Six concerts in three days can be exhausting, but I had a lot of fun. I always enjoy playing in concerts and being apart of something great. I don't have pictures of my costume yet, but I do have one of someone else's costume. This is my buddy Adam. I happened to run into him at McDonald's last night and he wanted to get a picture with me. It was an...interesting experience. But it made me laugh! p.s. Don't mind the fact that I look gross. I had just finished up with the concert and didn't have time to get cute again.

Whatevs...

The title of this blog is pretty much my attitude for this semester. My room in my apartment in tiny...whatevs. I don't know what the heck is going on in my Heredity class...whatevs. My roommate who is engaged is basically dating someone else...whatevs. I usually accompany this saying with a shrug of the shoulders and an "I don't really care what is going to happen" look on my face. But it's actually pretty amazing. By not really caring about what happens, life is a lot less stressful! The only problem is I can't keep this attitude up all the time. I still get annoyed at how small the room is and I worry I'm going to lose my whole scholarship because I'm going to fail my class and that bad things are going to happen because certain people can't keep their flirting under control. But on the whole I think I've done a pretty good job of staying relaxed. I think it's helping me become a happier person. I don't stress about the details of every little thing in my life. I still worry about them, but it doesn't take on the huge role that it used to. Things are good for right now. I can handle things at the moment. Lets just see how long it lasts...

4 AM

Well, it's 4 in the morning now. I've been laying in bed for the last 4 hours and haven't been able to fall asleep with my normal tricks, so I'm blogging and listening to Ellen Degeneres watching Spyder-Slayer slink around. One thing that has been keeping me awake is I have a song stuck in my head. It's kind of a weird song, it's the Bicycle Song by Queen. I listened to it about 2 hours before I went to bed and it just never left my head. I guess I'll just update a little on my life.
I have been living in my apartment now for about 2 weeks. It really has been fun because I get along with my roommates really well. They're all from California and pretty cool. It's nice to not have roommates from highly Mormon areas because I don't feel like they're judging me. That's one thing that bothers me, when people judge me when I'm not even doing anything wrong! But they don't do that and we have lots of fun.
My classes are all going pretty well. It's kind of weird, but the classes that I thought were going to be really hard actually turned out to be my funnest ones! I'm taking a class called Readings. It's all about theories on art. I thought it was going to be super boring, but I'm actually enjoying it! Time does kind of drag on in that class because I have it at 3:15 in the afternoon and I've been going straight from class to class since 9 in the morning. My other fun class is my Color Photo one. It's more of my thing, so I feel more comfortable in it. And my teacher is about 7 months pregnant, so she doesn't feel like pushing the class too hard. I think she gets tired standing in front of us teaching for so long because we get out of class early a lot. I'm also taking Heredity, which is kicking my trash. I'm working really hard to understand things, but I feel like everything is going over my head. I hope things get better soon. The only thing that makes me feel better is that lots of other people said they feel the same way. Hopefully he grades on the curve!
For the Halloween concert this year the theme is "Super Heroes". We're all supposed to dress up accordingly (mostly like Marvel comics), but I don't know what to dress up as! Suggestions are welcome! Especially if you know how to put the costume together! I would rather not have to dress up like a boy, but there aren't many girl super heroes.
Well, I think I'll try to get some sleep now. I have to get up in about 3 hours. Have a good night! (Or morning!)

September 11, 2002

On this day, most people remember the attacks on the World Trade Centers by terrorists wanting to destroy America. I think of this too, but this day also makes me think of another occasion. On the one year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, September 11, 2002, I had a procedure done on my heart known as a Catheter Ablation. Up until that date I suffered from a disorder called Wolff -Parkinson-White Syndrome. It's not necissarily a life-threatening disorder, but it did limit my activities and narrow down what I wanted to do with my life. When an attack came on, I remember there was a lot of pain. My chest hurt so severely that it felt like a knife was being shoved into it. I would often get very dizzy and light-headed and on occasion was worried I would pass out. I did play sports, but I knew that certain things would trigger an attack. I couldn't suddenly start sprinting, make any jerky movements, and even running up the stairs set it off. When I was going through a little bit of testing to see if I was a candidate for surgery, my heart was recorded at going 240 bpm (beats per minute). I was scheduled for surgery and on September 11, 2002, I underwent a procedure that helped me live my life more fully. I remember waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the hospital. I'll never forget looking out the back winsheild of our car in the parking garage at the man standing in the middle of it. He was dressed in Scottish attire with the kilt and hat, playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes. I'll admit, it was an ominous sight. We drove to the hospital and watched as President Bush read the names of the people who died on the flights for the one year anniversary. They called me back to get prepped. I was a little nervous. After changing into a gown, the nurse tried to start an IV on me and missed the vein. Blood started spurting a little from my arm and my dad, who was sitting in a rolling chair, started backing way up (he hates needles). I remember thinking at that point, "That doesn't look good..." When they took me to the room, it was cold. They told me it was a room built for machines, not people. There were a lot of people in the room, mostly students because the operation was at the University Hospital in SLC. When I was put under, I remember seeing the room, but from the viewpoint of the ceiling looking down on what was happening. I woke up in the recovery room and my first thought was to look at the clock to see how long the surgery had lasted. I think I calculated about 4 hours, but I'm not sure what the actual time was. When the nurse saw I was awake, she took my vitals and asked if I wanted some ice cream. My throat was very sore because they had to put a tube down it. The nurse fed me because I was still too weak to feed myself. She was very generous in her servings and hardly let me swallow before she shoved another spoonful into my mouth! I finally had to shut my mouth so I could breathe for a second. I was then wheeled out of the recovery room and into an elevator by 2 people, a man and woman, who I think were talking about some dating scandal that had recently happened. After I got to my room, all I did the rest of the day was sleep and watch TV. Sleeping was hard because of the IV in my arm (which hurt like the dickens every time I touched it) and because the nurses were constantly coming in and out of the room taking vitals and seeing if I needed anything. That next morning, I ate a little bit of breakfeast and we went home. We got back in time for me to go to the volleyball game our team had that night. I couldn't play, but it was fun to sit on the bench and cheer the team on. I know the surgery was very expensive and somewhat of an inconvenience, but it has helped me live a much fuller life. I don't have to worry about running up the stairs or joining in a game my friends are playing for fear of having an attack. If you look at me now, you wouldn't know I had heart surgery. The only scar I have left is a tiny dot on my neck, hardly noticable even when I am looking for it. I'm very thankful for today because it helps me remember what good things can happen with advances in medicine and wonderful people like Dr. Klein and my parents.

More Quotes

Some more random words have come up in our house that I thought I should probably document. Joni has started calling our cat "B-Burns". And when my dad told me I could take a bunny with me to college, she said I should introduce him as "B-Bunny". And some other words I should put down so people know what we're talking about: "P-Pozzle" (pop) which is not to be confused with "B-Bozzle" (Burns). Burns also goes by the name of "Jungle Kitty" which is often paired with Oscar's name of "Jungle Doggy". These were both developed when Joni and Andy were forced to tackle the weed garden and the aminals kept them company. I'm sure there will be more posts to follow this one, but that's all I have for now.

Quotes

I thought I'd let people know that most of the quotes that come from our house are from movies. So, here is a list of movies/shows that are frequently quoted around here:

-Nacho Libre
-Saturday Night Live (Bad Boys episode)
-Everybody Loves Raymond
-ER
-The Grinch
-Anchorman
-Talladega Nights
-Snickers Commercial (Patrick? What's up Brian...Rawr!!!!...Oops...)
-Heavyweights
-Rocky
-Cat Bumper Sticker (I can haz cheezburger?)

As you can see, we are all very well rounded when it comes to our entertainment. Or something like that.

Names

First of all, I FOUND MY PHONE!!!!! Secondly, I think my family has problems naming things. I'll give you a taste of what I mean. Yesterday, my sister told me that my stripper name is "Titties McGee". Well I couldn't let that go unanswered, so I told her that her stripper name is "Bubbles Panclocks". For the rest of the night I continued to call her Panclocks and she answered to it every single time. This isn't the first time we've had weird names for each other. Some of them aren't appropriate enough for me to mention. But my two sisters are listed in my phone as "The Skipper" and "Da Cheat", my brother is "Lawgiver", and my brother and sister-in-law is "Trogdor and Emmersly". This problem also goes further. When our cat starts eating the plants in our house, my sister calls it "Cat Salad" which I know sounds disgusting. My brother has called me "Squinty McSquinter-pants" before. Our cat can be called Wittle Kitty, Kitten, Spyder Slayer, Gandorf Salrong Mitchell the Grey, Spike, or any other name you feel like calling him at the moment. My sister calls the movie The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe "Turkish Delight". When we talk about contraband, we usually mean having food downstairs. Scahonayed is a term we use to mean you got your butt handed to you (usually by dad) because of something you did or didn't do (usually the dishes or eating downstairs). We call the catnip used on our cats toys "Cat Weed". We have so many code names for everything that I feel sorry for anyone that has to listen to our conversations. I'm a little worried about what my children or the children of my family members are going to be named.

Dentist

I had a dentist appointment today. I really hate the dentist. All that scraping and pulling on your mouth for an hour can be tiring and painful. But good news, no cavities!!! I'm still going strong, 20 years old and not one cavity ever. Lets try for 21!

It's Time

Someone asked me last night what I had been doing all summer. I hate it when people ask me that because I can only give a pretty depressing answer. I told them I've been working. What else? Reading lots of books. What else? Watching movies with my parents. What else? Um... that about sums up my summer. When I think about it, it makes me kind of sad that I didn't do more. Our family did spend a weekend going to Yellowstone and that was amazingly fun and we did pick huckleberries a couple of times, but I don't have anything else to show for my months of being home besides a fairly good tan. I was thinking last night that I would really like to go somewhere new. And not so much just to visit, I would like to live somewhere I've never been before. Not long term, maybe just a year or so. I would really like to live somewhere in Europe. It doesn't really matter to me much where. But the problem with that is 1) I don't have any money and 2) I need to finish school first. At least my bachelors. Just once I want to do something worth talking about. I've never been the child that my parents can really brag about or even talk more than a few minutes about. But I don't want to do it for them, I want to do it for me. I want to get away from all the people around here whose main goal is to get married and have children and stay in Idaho. I'm in no way saying that's not a great goal, it's just not what I want. I want to get married, sure. But more for the reason that I want a friend I can share my adventures with. Someone I can talk to and will listen to me. Someone who wants to help me do things that I don't have the courage to do by myself. One of my friends is forgoing her wedding reception to go to Europe because she loves it so much over there. I wouldn't want to do that because I think a reception is a good way to say goodbye to the old life and hello to the new phase of your life. But I'm still insanely jealous that she gets to visit Europe twice before I have gone even once. I know this post is all over the place and that things don't really flow together all that well, but I have to get it out of my head or I'll go crazy. I think I've had too much time to think about things lately. I need something to occupy my mind. It's time to go back to school.

Becca and Taylor

Here are another group of engagement shots I took. These are some of my favorite. Let me know what you think!

Mickey Mouse

I found this video on YouTube tonight. I don't know if it's only funny at midnight, but I laughed pretty hard! It's interesting to read the info on the side of this video, but I'll put down the summary of the video. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

The orchestra is performing the William Tell overture, but then Donald Duck (in his third appearance in a Mickey cartoon) appears selling ice-cream. Uninvited, Donald takes out his flute and distracts the band into playing Turkey in the Straw.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IErXg5kBXXg&feature=related

Hiding

Last winter I had a few guys that were pursuing me. They are all very nice and I'm sure will go far in their own lives. However, I don't want to end up with any of them. I'll give you a little background on each.

~Boy #1 and I had a geology class together. We sat by each other and had a fun time. During the winter he started taking me out to lunch a lot and we texted a few times a week. I tried to make it clear that I didn't want anything more than friendship, but he didn't get the hint. I am too scared to be open with him, but he never took me on a date or introduced me to his friends or anything. He is one of those guys that is really into looks and things like that. He took out a $10,000 loan to pay for a car. He didn't have any money because he just barely got off his mission. I don't want a guy that is so focused on that kind of stuff. He almost hooked up with this other girl and I was hoping it would work out, but it didn't. So now we move on to...
~Boy #2! He was my FHE brother last fall and his apartment was all pretty good friends with girls in my apartment because they are all from Oregon. I considered dating him, but then I realized he was one of those extremely weird guys who are totally in their own little world. He is very smart, though. He also took the sneaky approach and never actually asked me on a date or said he liked me or anything. He knows Boy #1 because they were in the MTC together. He also knows...
~Boy #3 because we were all in the same ward. Boy #3 was my FHE brother in the winter. He's really nice, but doesn't have the most direction in his life. He is the only one that actually took me on 2 formal dates. However, he is also the one that got kicked out of school. I never found out why, but I knew from that one thing that he wasn't the guy for me.

I thought that after school got out and we all went our seperate ways for the summer that they would move on and find new girls. However things didn't quite work out that way. Boy #3 texts me almost every day. I try to push him to ask girls out and be social that way, but I don't think it's working. One good thing is that he's not coming back to Rexburg anytime soon, so that is nice! He's a good friend and it's fun to talk to him, but I worry that he might be picking up vibes that aren't there. Boy #2 emails me quite a bit. I email him back, but I make sure that my responses are a little delayed so he doesn't get the idea that I'm waiting around to hear from him. He always talks about all these things he wants to do with me in the fall (ex. bonfires, going shooting, attending FA 100 events together). I don't say that I'm going to attend any of these things and usually just ignore it. I try to bring up other things do distract him, but I don't think it's working. I'm hoping that things will be like they were in the winter and he'll just forget about me for awhile while he's in his own little world. Boy #3 I probably the one I could most see myself with, but it won't happen. I'm sure he'll try to take me out to lunch more and take me on dates, but I'm going to put forth more of an effort to avoid him so he doesn't get his hopes up. I haven't talked to him much this summer so I thought he had found other things to occupy his mind. I talked to him today and now a new obsticle has appeared. He wants me to go with him, his parents, his little brother, and 2 of his other friends on a medditeranean cruise next may. He said the full cost would be $1500 with airfare and everything. I'm not gonna lie, it sounds amazing. But I know that would be the worst thing if I was trying to tell him I don't want to date him. I think I'm going to go into hiding for the next 10 years.

I took this way awesome quiz on facebook and decided I'd give Dad something to read. Tell me if you agree or not!


Abby completed the quiz "What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?" with the result 1920's.

You are classy, not afraid to go against the norm, and love to celebrate the joys of life. You love to be in the "right now" of society's latest "new thing" and because of that you exert the latest fashions and put a high priority on having a great time. After all, you deserve it after all the struggles you have gone through in life thus far. You have a little rebel in you, although you don't overtly show it because you keep yourself and your standards classy, sophisticated, and elegant. And chances are, you have a thing for jazz music. You are a perfect combination of lady-like and party animal...

Father's Day

I know it's a little late because Father's Day was 2 days ago, but I figured it's better late than never! I just want to put a little tribute on my blog to my father. Here are some things that I know I'll never forget about him.

1. His excellent work ethic. My dad often works from sun-up to sun-down with few breaks in between. He's not afraid of taking on huge tasks and stays with them until they are done right.
2. His generosity. My dad always tries to help everyone else out. He is always looking for the person who can't help themselves and needs someone to reach out for them. Even when they're not reaching out, my dad will give them a hand anyways.
3. His love of animals. Everytime my dad walks up the stairs after getting home from work, the first thing he'll do is growl at Oscar and make him bark and run around. It's their idea of play time. And he also takes him to bed so they can cuddle all night, until Mom kicks Oscar out. When we watch a movie, my dad loves to have the cats and dog around him so he can pet and scratch them until they get sick of being bugged and run away. (But that's ok because it happens to all of us)
4. His somewhat loud teaching voice. It works very well in the classroom or when trying to communicate across a football field.
5. His love of chatting-it-up. My grandma even commented that she has never seen anyone talk as much as my dad. He did it even when he was a little boy, just strike up a conversation with random people. It just shows how comfortable he is with his own life that he can share as much as he does with others. This attribute compliments #2 on my list very well. While sharing a lovely conversation, he finds out what people need and does his best to help them.
6. His love of family. Everytime my brother brings his boys up, my dad loves to play with them and make them laugh. He plays with them in much the same way that he does with Oscar, but it works. He always wants pictures at every family gathering (even if it's just Sunday dinner) because he wants to be able to remember all the good (and not-so-good) times.

Well, that's a good start for now. There are many more things that make my dad what he is, but I think this gives you a pretty good idea as to what he's about.

p.s. Dad said he wants both of you that read this to write your own blog about him for Father's Day. He told me to tell you.

Can't Sleep, Again

Well, I find myself awake in the middle of the night even though I laid down to sleep 2 hours ago. So, since I'm up I'd thought I'd put something on here to try and entertain everyone! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDm_ZHyYTrg

2 AM

I think I have too much of my grandmother in me. Right now it's 2:08 AM and I can't sleep a wink. I try to make sure that I exercise and eat right (because I hear that helps) and I try not to sleep in too long. But after taking a sleeping pill and laying in bed for 2 1/2 hours, I figure I better get up and do something until I feel like I can sleep.
I think part of the reason it's hard for me to sleep is because I have so many thoughts running through my head. Maybe if I get them down I can sleep. One of these thoughts is about a friend of mine who recently returned from a mission. I haven't seen him yet, but I'm going to his church on sunday to listen to his talk. It should be interesting. I wonder how he's changed? I wonder what he'll think of how I've changed? Will things be weird between us or can we just go back to that old friendship? Also, he'll probably ask about things that happened to me a few months after he left. Things I haven't really talked about in awhile. I think I can talk about it fine, but with him it'll be different because he was pretty involved. I don't know what he'll say about it. Just different things that I'm curious as to how he'll react.
The second thing is something a little different. I met a guy last weekend and I think he's pretty funny. He reminds me a lot of Joni and Andy, actually. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable around him. It may be weird, but he's 28 years old. But he already has a job, is done with college, has his own car, and I think he's cute! Some ladies I work with said I should call him on friday if he hasn't already called me. But I don't call people, especially to ask guys on dates. Maybe it'll be a learning experience for me. But what do I say? What do I invite him to do? Will he blow me off? Do I care if he blows me off? I just hope he calls me first so I don't have to deal with all of that.
I think I'll try to sleep now that I've gotten those things off my chest. Maybe it will come and I won't be too tired in the morning.

Another Shoot

On Memorial day, I took pictures of my friend for her senior recital. It was very fun because it's something I love to do and I think I'm getting a lot better. Here are some of the shots.

Birthday

Last week I turned 20. I'm not a teenager anymore! It's a good feeling to be out of that stage of life because it was the absolute worst. It's so funny to think that just 2 years ago I was graduating from high school, now it's my brothers turn. I remember my government teacher in high school told us something I'll never forget. She said that after high school, your life just flies by and you don't know where it all went! I didn't believe her. I thought "High school dragged on and on, the rest of my life will too". But I believe her now. I can barely remember my 19th birthday and it seems like just a few days ago I was moving into my new apartment. It's a weird feeling, it seems like time has sped up, but high school still seems like it was eons ago. It's like time has sped up and slowed down all at the same time. It's funny to watch all my friend who are graduating and listening to what they have to say about being afriad of after high school and going to college and losing touch with all their friends. I remember thinking the same things. And it all came true. College is scary and I have lost touch with a lot of friends, but I'm ok with it. I've decided that there are a few things that I have done that qualify me as an adult.

1- I see people in high school that never talked to me, but treat me like we were best friends.
2-For the most part, I fill up my own tank of gas.
3-I went to get my oil changed, by myself.
4-I don't try to please everyone else all the time.
5-I moved out for school and am planning on moving out again in the fall.
6-I have a job to pay stupid bills.
7-Most of my friends are engaged or married.
8-I didn't do anything on my birthday, but I didn't care either. (But I did have an awesomeparty on sunday)

High school blew, but I have high hopes for the rest of my life.

We're the Dancers

This video is for all you who watched Dancing with the Stars and were confused by the Single Ladies skit. Here's most of the SNL video (excluding the very beginning and end). This is what Justin Timberlake looks like in heels and a leotard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBC7pilGoPc&feature=related

Why?

This morning I saw that I had a new voicemail. When I listened to it, I found out it was my friend Travis. You may remember him as the guy that I knew in high school that suddenly decided to get ahold of me and then brought his girlfriend over to my apartment so we could stand for an hour while he tells me about the romantic things he did for her for Valentine's. Well he said that we haven't talked in awhile and wants to know how I'm doing and if things aren't doing good then I should just not worry about the bad stuff and have fun. And to call him back when I got his message. I don't understand this boy. He's kind of weirding me out.

I always seem to attract the weird guys. Whether it be the guy who has me come over and watch a movie while he's in his pj's and have his cousin make us dinner, the guy who took out a $10,000 loan to buy a 2004 Jaguar and wants to be a dentist because his main goal is to be rich, or the guy that got kicked out of school for breaking the Honor Code. Now I get to add the high school friend who tells me all about his girlfriend while trying desperately to reconnect with me. I just don't get it. And it really sucks. I'm not afraid of never getting the opportunity to get married or even find a decent boyfriend, I'm afraid of never getting the chance with someone that is semi-normal and has commendable goals. It seems like I never get the chance to go out on a date with someone normal. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful that I have a million awkard date stories that are sure to top anyone else's! But I don't want the perfect guy for me to turn away because he thinks I'm already taken by someone else that has no chance of a future with me. Oh well.

Tracey's Wedding

A few weeks ago I took my roommates wedding pictures. I finally finished them yesterday! I think she really liked them, well at least I hope she did. I was a little nervous because it was my first wedding, but it went well because I took about 2 thousand pics! Here are some of them.

Tryptich

For my art class, our last project is a Tryptich. It's basically a series of 3 pieces that are related somehow. I've been getting a little burned out from that class because I've spent so much time on it and haven't felt a lot of positive feedback. I might actually get an A in the class, but I'm not getting my hopes too high. For my Tryptich, I went with something that I am pretty familiar with, cameras. My first photo is of a camera that is about 100 years old. It's close up which protrays that closeness and intimacy that many people feel when they use it. The next is a camera from probably the 80's (it's my uncles camera so I'm not sure). It's set a little farther back and with a little more color to show the advancement of photography, but also how we are a little more seperated. The last is with bright colors, but the camera is much smaller. The camera is a digital SLR (very high-tech, or something). The reason it is so far back is that many people feel that through all the advancements of technology, photography isn't as intimate as it once was. It's just another thing that you can play with, not a real investment in time and energy. This is just one point of view, so don't get mad at me for hating technology. I have a digital SLR and I love it, but I can see the point. Anyways, here are the photos!

I guess she can live her own life...

I have a roommate that moved out to go back home today. She's off track so it's ok. Last semester, she was debating whether or not to stay in Rexburg. She talked with her parents a lot (who thought that she should come back home in Oregon), but decided she didn't want anyone else telling her what to do. So she stayed. The first day she came back, I thought she had a job all lined up because jobs are very hard to come by in this town especially for college students. Turns out she hadn't even got her resume' put together and was going to start looking later that week. When all the other students were going to start looking too. She went to a few places, but nothing worked out because, in my opinion, she didn't want a job so wasn't looking very hard. This went on for a long time. She only just found a job about 2 weeks ago. So there's one part of her life. Also at the beginning of the semester, she was dating a guy named Bryan. They were almost engaged at one point, but she broke up with him, partly because of another guy. She told that to him while she was explaining why she was breaking up with him. So she started dating the other guy whose name is Landon. They were a very close couple, but couldn't get engaged because Landon still hasn't gone on a mission. He's 21 and very worthy, but health problems didn't permit him to go. They dated for about 2 months, but broke up on monday. This was inevitable as she was engaged to Bryan. I heard that Landon was angry and very hurt over the weekend, but I don't blame him because his girlfriend was engaged to a different guy. This is what happened: My roommate started talking to Bryan about 2 or 3 weeks ago. They were talking a lot and into all hours of the night. This then progressed to doing things together and then holding hands and then getting engaged. Landon knew that they were doing things, but he is such a nice person, he didn't want to make my roommate mad by restricting her activities. He started planning this huge party for her as a surprise going away/birthday party. He even made her this raspberry cake and balloons and banners. The party was monday. Monday was also the day that she broke up with him. I saw her after the party with Bryan. It made me a little mad. The next day, she announced to us that Bryan had bought her an engagement ring and they just had to ask her father's permission to get married. I was not very happy for her and even more so when the girl I share a room with told me that that wasn't the first time they had gone ring shopping. She was looking at wedding rings with Bryan while she was still dating Landon. She's gone home now and I'm very glad. I don't think I could've handled it much longer. Why is it that the girls that don't care about anyone else's feelings are the ones that always get the guys?

Can't my life make sense for once?

Way back in high school, I got to be really good friends with a guy named Travis. We were in the same seminary class and we both really disliked our teacher. We got to be pretty good friends and even skipped class once so we (along with this other kid Kent) could go play Clue at Travis' house (don't worry, I called my mom for permission!). Well, after graduation day, he kind of disappeared. I heard he moved to Boise to apprentice for an electrician. And he went to the MTC, but came home after only 3 weeks. I never heard much after that. He found me on facebook about 6 months ago and sent me a message. I sent him one back, but he never responded. I thought it was a little weird, but it didn't bother me that bad. So randomly last week, he finally responds to me and tells me he wants to talk, and not just on facebook. So he sent me a private message with his number and said to call him. I told him it would be fun to talk and gave him my number in return, but not really expecting anything. That night, he calls me. I was at work so I couldn't answer, but it really intruiged me. I sent him a message telling him I was sorry I missed his call and that we should try again the next day. So he does call, but at 8 in the morning! Being a saturday and my first opportunity to sleep in in awhile, I didn't answer. I was very confused all day because why would this guy I hadn't talked to in almost 2 years suddenly be so persistant in trying to get ahold of me? I didn't call him back because I was too scared. Today, being monday, I get another call but I had just barely woken up and didn't want to answer the phone in my gravelly voice. So I got up, ate breakfest and called him back. He didn't answer. About an hour after that he calls back and says he's in Rexburg and wants to come see me! I tell him where I live and try to look a little more presentable. When he comes, I was thrown a little off balance. There was Travis! And his girlfriend... They came inside and we talked for about an hour and then he left. He said he was waiting to see if he could go back on a mission, but won't find out for another month or so. We said that we should still keep in touch and then they left. It was very awkward the whole time they were here. I've never met her before so I didn't feel comfortable talking about my life in front of her, they kept giving each other hugs and bumping into each other which made me feel weird like I should give them some privacy or something, he told me about their relationship and how they met and all the romantic things he did for her on Valentine's Day, and we stood the entire time even though I offered to sit down. And my roommates were watching a movie and not exactly being quiet about it. I guess it was good to talk to him and get in touch again, but it was weird. Things like this always seem to happen to me. My life gets so awkward sometimes.

Just for Lisa

Today I am wearing a brown coat and today I'm wearing a brown shirt and today I'm wearing brown shoes and today I'm wearing a brown scarf and today I have brown hair and today I have brown eyebrows and today I'm wearing a brown belt. I am very brown today.

Rough Week

This week has definately been a struggle for me. I figure that I'm just going to write about it just to get it out of the way so I can move on. It all started on monday. I had all my regular classes, but I knew I had a lot of projects due that week. And I had to get an application done. I was talking with my mom and venting to her about how I was never going to get anything done. I had a value scale, presentation in my english class, quizes online, a study guide for the Constitution, an application to complete, and all of my regular homework that keeps me busy anyways. My mom told me that I could come home that night and she would help me with my value scale and my dad would help me with my application and together they would get me graduated! I thought that sounded like a good idea, so that was my plan. However, I got a call later that afternoon telling me that my sister-in-law was going to have her baby that night! I was so excited for this addition to our family, but my parents were both headed to Pocatello so they couldn't help me. I went with my sister to see the new baby and we didn't get back till almost 11 that night. That may be early to some, but when you have to get up by 7 almost every day, it's nice to get some sleep.

So then we move to tuesday. Class went all right. But I spent about 5 hours working on homework between my class and work. I was supposed to go in at 4, but I found someone to work the first 3 hours of my shift so I didn't have to go in until 7 which was very nice. But I was exhausted from doing homework for that long. So I went to work and we actually got out a little early. And my dad told me that he would "help" me fill out my application, but I'm pretty sure he did the whole thing, which I appreciate beyond measure. After I got home from work, I was sitting at the table in our apartment talking to my roommate. All of a sudden, I felt so hot which, if you know me, you know is not normal. I'm always freezing. It felt like the heat had jumped up to 90 degrees in a few minutes. I had been feeling a little sick at work, but I thought that was just from being on my feet for so long. I told my roommate I felt sick and she felt my forehead and told me I was burning up. So she got me a bowl of ice water and a cloth so I could try to cool down. After a few minutes, I started shaking. It started in my legs and moved to my abdomen. I also felt a little naseaus. I figured I just needed sleep, so I went to my bed. The shaking got worse. My roommate brought in the icewater and a barf bucket (I really was hoping not to use) and set up a fan to try and cool me down. Still, the shaking got worse till it was my entire body. I felt like I was having a seizure, but more mild because I could still move around and even walk. I got really scared and left the room (my other roommate was trying to sleep) so I could call my mom. I sat on the bathroom floor because that was the coolest place. My mom wasn't available at the time, so I just waited for her to call me back. My roommatees saw me sitting there and I think they were scared for my safety. The shaking kept getting worse to where I couldn't even keep my head from hitting the wall I was leaning against. My roommates friend from Oregon (who happened to be our FHE brother from last semester) was at our apartment and she asked him if he would be willing to give me a blessing. His roommate (our other old FHE brother) was nearby so he came right over and together they gave me a blessing. I could hardly sit up straight, but I could feel the power in their blessing. 10 minutes after they left, I could feel the shaking die down and I was able to sleep. I am so thankful for the blessing of the Priesthood. The next day I was as good as I was before all that.

So we move to wednesday. I drove to class because I didn't want to walk and ended up being a little bit late. I was running down the stairs when all of a sudden, I wasn't running down them, I was falling. I totally fell down the last third of the stairs. Luckily, there was only one girl who heard, but I think I left fast enough that she didn't see my face. It was painful. I skipped symphony because I knew I needed more sleep to prevent getting any more sick. After all my classes were done, I spent another few hours doing homework which sucked, but I got to watch Lost! So wednesday wasn't too bad.

Thursday was a little different. I went to class which was pretty good because my teacher told me I did one of the assignments very well, but I realized I did another assignment that was due wrong. So I got docked a little on that. Then our group got together and I was the only one that didn't have any thumbnails for us all to go over for a big project due in 2 weeks. That was just a little depressing. So I went home and did laundry because I was running out of clothes. While I was at home, I did something that could've ended up really badly. I started cutting my hair. Something I picked up from my sisters that they used to do when stressed. It actually didn't turn out too bad which I'm really thankful for. Then I went to lunch with a guy who really wants to date me, but won't pick up the hint that I don't want to date him. That stressed me out too. But I got a free meal out of it! But I was feeling sick to my stomache so I was really hoping I wasn't going to throw up. I went home, did a few hours of homework, then had to go to work. Low and behold, my boss had left a big project last minute that I had to finish. It would've been fine if I hadn't of been so stressed already. I think I started crying at one point, but that may have been because I was tired. We got out a little later than I would've liked, but that's ok. After I got home, I went with my roommates to give some cookies to our friend and we hung out at his apartment for about an hour. I think that saved the day! It was really fun and we laughed a lot. He's a funny boy. ;)

So finally I made it to Friday. My presentation in class went all right, but at this point I didn't really care. I just wanted it to be over with. I have a 4 hour break between classes on fridays so I took a nap. My boss called my phone and left a message that the guy I was supposed to work with tonight (who actually left me alone to close by myself last week because he "forgot" to come in which really made me mad) had quit and his son was going to be working instead because he couldn't find anyone else. That was fine with me because his son is one of my favorite people to work with! But he can't work alone because he's only 15. So he wanted to know if I would come in 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to. I said yes because I felt too bad to say no. But at least it's more money, it'll just drag on forever...so that's where I am right now. I did do a good deed and give my roommate a ride up to the accounting office, and I think that took away a little of her stress, so that made me feel good. Hopefully tomorrow will be good. I don't have to work and I don't have any major projects. I just want to enjoy myself. Something I haven't been able to do in awhile.

This Week...

Classes finally started this week. It hasn't been too stressful, but then again all we basically did was do intro's to all the classes. I'm sure the stress will pick up again very soon! I found a few prospects that I might allow to date me if those men know what's good for them, but if not it just gives me that much more time to work on my homework! But seeing as how it's been kind of boring with all that, I wanted to talk about something else. My mom recently let me borrow a book of hers called "Return from Tomorrow". It's actually a book that I would expect from my mom as it's kind of weird to tell people about, but very interesting. In it, a psychiatrist tells of his experience with that afterlife. He is in a bootcamp during WWII, getting ready to leave for medical school so he could be sent overseas to help out there. Right before he leaves, he gets incredibly sick and dies. That is, his body gives out. But his spirit lives on. He experiences what it's like to be completely alone in the world and is rescued by Jesus. I've read another book where the man says he meets some glorious being, but this man actually names the being as Jesus. He is taken to different places in the spirit world and sees what it's like for those who don't have the light of Christ. They aren't able to see Jesus and are miserable. He keeps being taken to a higher level when eventually he gets a glimpse of Heaven. He is only permitted a glimpse from far away because he wasn't ready to see it's glory. Then he is brought back to his body. All through his experience he tells how Jesus is always emitting the purest love one could imagine. And later in life, he sees that same love through others that he meets. I love it when people who don't have a religious background profess their love of God and know that He exists through these experiences. It just solidifies what I already know, but puts it into a new perspective. I think that people have to have these experiences close to death because that is when they are most humble. It's when the world can be stripped away and there are no distractionsto take away. I wish I could see it for myself, but I know that will come someday. Not now. All I can do now is try to live my life so that others can see Christ's love through me.