Another Shoot

On Memorial day, I took pictures of my friend for her senior recital. It was very fun because it's something I love to do and I think I'm getting a lot better. Here are some of the shots.

Birthday

Last week I turned 20. I'm not a teenager anymore! It's a good feeling to be out of that stage of life because it was the absolute worst. It's so funny to think that just 2 years ago I was graduating from high school, now it's my brothers turn. I remember my government teacher in high school told us something I'll never forget. She said that after high school, your life just flies by and you don't know where it all went! I didn't believe her. I thought "High school dragged on and on, the rest of my life will too". But I believe her now. I can barely remember my 19th birthday and it seems like just a few days ago I was moving into my new apartment. It's a weird feeling, it seems like time has sped up, but high school still seems like it was eons ago. It's like time has sped up and slowed down all at the same time. It's funny to watch all my friend who are graduating and listening to what they have to say about being afriad of after high school and going to college and losing touch with all their friends. I remember thinking the same things. And it all came true. College is scary and I have lost touch with a lot of friends, but I'm ok with it. I've decided that there are a few things that I have done that qualify me as an adult.

1- I see people in high school that never talked to me, but treat me like we were best friends.
2-For the most part, I fill up my own tank of gas.
3-I went to get my oil changed, by myself.
4-I don't try to please everyone else all the time.
5-I moved out for school and am planning on moving out again in the fall.
6-I have a job to pay stupid bills.
7-Most of my friends are engaged or married.
8-I didn't do anything on my birthday, but I didn't care either. (But I did have an awesomeparty on sunday)

High school blew, but I have high hopes for the rest of my life.

We're the Dancers

This video is for all you who watched Dancing with the Stars and were confused by the Single Ladies skit. Here's most of the SNL video (excluding the very beginning and end). This is what Justin Timberlake looks like in heels and a leotard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBC7pilGoPc&feature=related

Why?

This morning I saw that I had a new voicemail. When I listened to it, I found out it was my friend Travis. You may remember him as the guy that I knew in high school that suddenly decided to get ahold of me and then brought his girlfriend over to my apartment so we could stand for an hour while he tells me about the romantic things he did for her for Valentine's. Well he said that we haven't talked in awhile and wants to know how I'm doing and if things aren't doing good then I should just not worry about the bad stuff and have fun. And to call him back when I got his message. I don't understand this boy. He's kind of weirding me out.

I always seem to attract the weird guys. Whether it be the guy who has me come over and watch a movie while he's in his pj's and have his cousin make us dinner, the guy who took out a $10,000 loan to buy a 2004 Jaguar and wants to be a dentist because his main goal is to be rich, or the guy that got kicked out of school for breaking the Honor Code. Now I get to add the high school friend who tells me all about his girlfriend while trying desperately to reconnect with me. I just don't get it. And it really sucks. I'm not afraid of never getting the opportunity to get married or even find a decent boyfriend, I'm afraid of never getting the chance with someone that is semi-normal and has commendable goals. It seems like I never get the chance to go out on a date with someone normal. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful that I have a million awkard date stories that are sure to top anyone else's! But I don't want the perfect guy for me to turn away because he thinks I'm already taken by someone else that has no chance of a future with me. Oh well.

Tracey's Wedding

A few weeks ago I took my roommates wedding pictures. I finally finished them yesterday! I think she really liked them, well at least I hope she did. I was a little nervous because it was my first wedding, but it went well because I took about 2 thousand pics! Here are some of them.

Tryptich

For my art class, our last project is a Tryptich. It's basically a series of 3 pieces that are related somehow. I've been getting a little burned out from that class because I've spent so much time on it and haven't felt a lot of positive feedback. I might actually get an A in the class, but I'm not getting my hopes too high. For my Tryptich, I went with something that I am pretty familiar with, cameras. My first photo is of a camera that is about 100 years old. It's close up which protrays that closeness and intimacy that many people feel when they use it. The next is a camera from probably the 80's (it's my uncles camera so I'm not sure). It's set a little farther back and with a little more color to show the advancement of photography, but also how we are a little more seperated. The last is with bright colors, but the camera is much smaller. The camera is a digital SLR (very high-tech, or something). The reason it is so far back is that many people feel that through all the advancements of technology, photography isn't as intimate as it once was. It's just another thing that you can play with, not a real investment in time and energy. This is just one point of view, so don't get mad at me for hating technology. I have a digital SLR and I love it, but I can see the point. Anyways, here are the photos!

I guess she can live her own life...

I have a roommate that moved out to go back home today. She's off track so it's ok. Last semester, she was debating whether or not to stay in Rexburg. She talked with her parents a lot (who thought that she should come back home in Oregon), but decided she didn't want anyone else telling her what to do. So she stayed. The first day she came back, I thought she had a job all lined up because jobs are very hard to come by in this town especially for college students. Turns out she hadn't even got her resume' put together and was going to start looking later that week. When all the other students were going to start looking too. She went to a few places, but nothing worked out because, in my opinion, she didn't want a job so wasn't looking very hard. This went on for a long time. She only just found a job about 2 weeks ago. So there's one part of her life. Also at the beginning of the semester, she was dating a guy named Bryan. They were almost engaged at one point, but she broke up with him, partly because of another guy. She told that to him while she was explaining why she was breaking up with him. So she started dating the other guy whose name is Landon. They were a very close couple, but couldn't get engaged because Landon still hasn't gone on a mission. He's 21 and very worthy, but health problems didn't permit him to go. They dated for about 2 months, but broke up on monday. This was inevitable as she was engaged to Bryan. I heard that Landon was angry and very hurt over the weekend, but I don't blame him because his girlfriend was engaged to a different guy. This is what happened: My roommate started talking to Bryan about 2 or 3 weeks ago. They were talking a lot and into all hours of the night. This then progressed to doing things together and then holding hands and then getting engaged. Landon knew that they were doing things, but he is such a nice person, he didn't want to make my roommate mad by restricting her activities. He started planning this huge party for her as a surprise going away/birthday party. He even made her this raspberry cake and balloons and banners. The party was monday. Monday was also the day that she broke up with him. I saw her after the party with Bryan. It made me a little mad. The next day, she announced to us that Bryan had bought her an engagement ring and they just had to ask her father's permission to get married. I was not very happy for her and even more so when the girl I share a room with told me that that wasn't the first time they had gone ring shopping. She was looking at wedding rings with Bryan while she was still dating Landon. She's gone home now and I'm very glad. I don't think I could've handled it much longer. Why is it that the girls that don't care about anyone else's feelings are the ones that always get the guys?

Can't my life make sense for once?

Way back in high school, I got to be really good friends with a guy named Travis. We were in the same seminary class and we both really disliked our teacher. We got to be pretty good friends and even skipped class once so we (along with this other kid Kent) could go play Clue at Travis' house (don't worry, I called my mom for permission!). Well, after graduation day, he kind of disappeared. I heard he moved to Boise to apprentice for an electrician. And he went to the MTC, but came home after only 3 weeks. I never heard much after that. He found me on facebook about 6 months ago and sent me a message. I sent him one back, but he never responded. I thought it was a little weird, but it didn't bother me that bad. So randomly last week, he finally responds to me and tells me he wants to talk, and not just on facebook. So he sent me a private message with his number and said to call him. I told him it would be fun to talk and gave him my number in return, but not really expecting anything. That night, he calls me. I was at work so I couldn't answer, but it really intruiged me. I sent him a message telling him I was sorry I missed his call and that we should try again the next day. So he does call, but at 8 in the morning! Being a saturday and my first opportunity to sleep in in awhile, I didn't answer. I was very confused all day because why would this guy I hadn't talked to in almost 2 years suddenly be so persistant in trying to get ahold of me? I didn't call him back because I was too scared. Today, being monday, I get another call but I had just barely woken up and didn't want to answer the phone in my gravelly voice. So I got up, ate breakfest and called him back. He didn't answer. About an hour after that he calls back and says he's in Rexburg and wants to come see me! I tell him where I live and try to look a little more presentable. When he comes, I was thrown a little off balance. There was Travis! And his girlfriend... They came inside and we talked for about an hour and then he left. He said he was waiting to see if he could go back on a mission, but won't find out for another month or so. We said that we should still keep in touch and then they left. It was very awkward the whole time they were here. I've never met her before so I didn't feel comfortable talking about my life in front of her, they kept giving each other hugs and bumping into each other which made me feel weird like I should give them some privacy or something, he told me about their relationship and how they met and all the romantic things he did for her on Valentine's Day, and we stood the entire time even though I offered to sit down. And my roommates were watching a movie and not exactly being quiet about it. I guess it was good to talk to him and get in touch again, but it was weird. Things like this always seem to happen to me. My life gets so awkward sometimes.

Just for Lisa

Today I am wearing a brown coat and today I'm wearing a brown shirt and today I'm wearing brown shoes and today I'm wearing a brown scarf and today I have brown hair and today I have brown eyebrows and today I'm wearing a brown belt. I am very brown today.

Rough Week

This week has definately been a struggle for me. I figure that I'm just going to write about it just to get it out of the way so I can move on. It all started on monday. I had all my regular classes, but I knew I had a lot of projects due that week. And I had to get an application done. I was talking with my mom and venting to her about how I was never going to get anything done. I had a value scale, presentation in my english class, quizes online, a study guide for the Constitution, an application to complete, and all of my regular homework that keeps me busy anyways. My mom told me that I could come home that night and she would help me with my value scale and my dad would help me with my application and together they would get me graduated! I thought that sounded like a good idea, so that was my plan. However, I got a call later that afternoon telling me that my sister-in-law was going to have her baby that night! I was so excited for this addition to our family, but my parents were both headed to Pocatello so they couldn't help me. I went with my sister to see the new baby and we didn't get back till almost 11 that night. That may be early to some, but when you have to get up by 7 almost every day, it's nice to get some sleep.

So then we move to tuesday. Class went all right. But I spent about 5 hours working on homework between my class and work. I was supposed to go in at 4, but I found someone to work the first 3 hours of my shift so I didn't have to go in until 7 which was very nice. But I was exhausted from doing homework for that long. So I went to work and we actually got out a little early. And my dad told me that he would "help" me fill out my application, but I'm pretty sure he did the whole thing, which I appreciate beyond measure. After I got home from work, I was sitting at the table in our apartment talking to my roommate. All of a sudden, I felt so hot which, if you know me, you know is not normal. I'm always freezing. It felt like the heat had jumped up to 90 degrees in a few minutes. I had been feeling a little sick at work, but I thought that was just from being on my feet for so long. I told my roommate I felt sick and she felt my forehead and told me I was burning up. So she got me a bowl of ice water and a cloth so I could try to cool down. After a few minutes, I started shaking. It started in my legs and moved to my abdomen. I also felt a little naseaus. I figured I just needed sleep, so I went to my bed. The shaking got worse. My roommate brought in the icewater and a barf bucket (I really was hoping not to use) and set up a fan to try and cool me down. Still, the shaking got worse till it was my entire body. I felt like I was having a seizure, but more mild because I could still move around and even walk. I got really scared and left the room (my other roommate was trying to sleep) so I could call my mom. I sat on the bathroom floor because that was the coolest place. My mom wasn't available at the time, so I just waited for her to call me back. My roommatees saw me sitting there and I think they were scared for my safety. The shaking kept getting worse to where I couldn't even keep my head from hitting the wall I was leaning against. My roommates friend from Oregon (who happened to be our FHE brother from last semester) was at our apartment and she asked him if he would be willing to give me a blessing. His roommate (our other old FHE brother) was nearby so he came right over and together they gave me a blessing. I could hardly sit up straight, but I could feel the power in their blessing. 10 minutes after they left, I could feel the shaking die down and I was able to sleep. I am so thankful for the blessing of the Priesthood. The next day I was as good as I was before all that.

So we move to wednesday. I drove to class because I didn't want to walk and ended up being a little bit late. I was running down the stairs when all of a sudden, I wasn't running down them, I was falling. I totally fell down the last third of the stairs. Luckily, there was only one girl who heard, but I think I left fast enough that she didn't see my face. It was painful. I skipped symphony because I knew I needed more sleep to prevent getting any more sick. After all my classes were done, I spent another few hours doing homework which sucked, but I got to watch Lost! So wednesday wasn't too bad.

Thursday was a little different. I went to class which was pretty good because my teacher told me I did one of the assignments very well, but I realized I did another assignment that was due wrong. So I got docked a little on that. Then our group got together and I was the only one that didn't have any thumbnails for us all to go over for a big project due in 2 weeks. That was just a little depressing. So I went home and did laundry because I was running out of clothes. While I was at home, I did something that could've ended up really badly. I started cutting my hair. Something I picked up from my sisters that they used to do when stressed. It actually didn't turn out too bad which I'm really thankful for. Then I went to lunch with a guy who really wants to date me, but won't pick up the hint that I don't want to date him. That stressed me out too. But I got a free meal out of it! But I was feeling sick to my stomache so I was really hoping I wasn't going to throw up. I went home, did a few hours of homework, then had to go to work. Low and behold, my boss had left a big project last minute that I had to finish. It would've been fine if I hadn't of been so stressed already. I think I started crying at one point, but that may have been because I was tired. We got out a little later than I would've liked, but that's ok. After I got home, I went with my roommates to give some cookies to our friend and we hung out at his apartment for about an hour. I think that saved the day! It was really fun and we laughed a lot. He's a funny boy. ;)

So finally I made it to Friday. My presentation in class went all right, but at this point I didn't really care. I just wanted it to be over with. I have a 4 hour break between classes on fridays so I took a nap. My boss called my phone and left a message that the guy I was supposed to work with tonight (who actually left me alone to close by myself last week because he "forgot" to come in which really made me mad) had quit and his son was going to be working instead because he couldn't find anyone else. That was fine with me because his son is one of my favorite people to work with! But he can't work alone because he's only 15. So he wanted to know if I would come in 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to. I said yes because I felt too bad to say no. But at least it's more money, it'll just drag on forever...so that's where I am right now. I did do a good deed and give my roommate a ride up to the accounting office, and I think that took away a little of her stress, so that made me feel good. Hopefully tomorrow will be good. I don't have to work and I don't have any major projects. I just want to enjoy myself. Something I haven't been able to do in awhile.